I'm feeling in need of some parenting advice.
In this wonderful unseasonal weather we've been having, oldest daughter has been out with her friends every evening after school and everyday in the holidays. It's very hard to get her to spend any time at home now. If I ask her to stay in with us she asks me why. And I agree with her, in a way. When I was her age I would get home from school, dump my bags, eat some bread and jam and then head on out again until night fall.
Except in my case I was out up the local farm, cleaning out the rabbits and goats and getting to ride their ponies in exchange for manual labour. However, truthfully I must say that the farm was next to a house which had three teenage brothers in - I fancied them all and would 'poo pick' the front field of the farm (which was across a lane from their house) and peer through the hedge to catch a glimpse of them.
The two oldest boys had their own cars and I knew the sound of their engines a mile off. My heart would leap in my chest when I saw any of them with their friends. All this started at the age of 12. I fancied practically every boy in the village and at weekends my best friend Sue and I would wander about on ponies or bikes going past the houses of these boys' friends. So, innocent but not so innocent. As the years went on I would go to the 'Young Farmer's Disco' at the Village Hall. Oh, such excitement! I had my first 'slow dance' there. A while later, my first kiss to 'Three Times a Lady' - a song that still gives that 'frisson' of excitement when I hear it. I can't remember how old I was, perhaps thirteen or fourteen? I'm not sure.
My parents had no interest in what I was getting up to, not that I was getting up to anything, just wasting my hours peering through hedges! I came to no harm.
I'd like to say, dear reader, at the end of this that 'I married him!' And I nearly did! I went out with the middle brother for three years (from 16 to 19). In a strange twist of fate my husband comes from the next village and was a friend of these boys, but I didn't meet him properly until I was 23 when we both lived in London.
Anyway, I'm digressing. Why, then do I think it's not a good thing that my daughter is doing something similar? And how do I get her stay in more? Pray for rain and a bad summer? I don't think so! Hmm.
In this wonderful unseasonal weather we've been having, oldest daughter has been out with her friends every evening after school and everyday in the holidays. It's very hard to get her to spend any time at home now. If I ask her to stay in with us she asks me why. And I agree with her, in a way. When I was her age I would get home from school, dump my bags, eat some bread and jam and then head on out again until night fall.
Except in my case I was out up the local farm, cleaning out the rabbits and goats and getting to ride their ponies in exchange for manual labour. However, truthfully I must say that the farm was next to a house which had three teenage brothers in - I fancied them all and would 'poo pick' the front field of the farm (which was across a lane from their house) and peer through the hedge to catch a glimpse of them.
The two oldest boys had their own cars and I knew the sound of their engines a mile off. My heart would leap in my chest when I saw any of them with their friends. All this started at the age of 12. I fancied practically every boy in the village and at weekends my best friend Sue and I would wander about on ponies or bikes going past the houses of these boys' friends. So, innocent but not so innocent. As the years went on I would go to the 'Young Farmer's Disco' at the Village Hall. Oh, such excitement! I had my first 'slow dance' there. A while later, my first kiss to 'Three Times a Lady' - a song that still gives that 'frisson' of excitement when I hear it. I can't remember how old I was, perhaps thirteen or fourteen? I'm not sure.
My parents had no interest in what I was getting up to, not that I was getting up to anything, just wasting my hours peering through hedges! I came to no harm.
I'd like to say, dear reader, at the end of this that 'I married him!' And I nearly did! I went out with the middle brother for three years (from 16 to 19). In a strange twist of fate my husband comes from the next village and was a friend of these boys, but I didn't meet him properly until I was 23 when we both lived in London.
Anyway, I'm digressing. Why, then do I think it's not a good thing that my daughter is doing something similar? And how do I get her stay in more? Pray for rain and a bad summer? I don't think so! Hmm.
posted by ramblingwoman at
7:01 AM
10 Comments:
I wouldn't worry about it Luce, all that socialising and independence - thats one of the main things they should be learning and enjoying at the moment. It is hard sometimes - but i think its a pretty good thing. No?
It was Fleetwood Mac - Albatross - for me - and I was wearing a long gypsyish dress that looked like a nightie. Or maybe it was a nightie which passed for a dress. ooooh it was luvverly.
Off to Sussex before long, I will sort out your neocounters.
(will post charger)
(oops)
(sorry!)
let her go, and be there when she needs you. organise for you both to do something nice together once in a while, i dunno like buying handbags together or something you gals love ;0p
what a great story though. i bet you were a hit being a poo picker. and fancying all the boys! ya big poo pickin floozy!! nowt's changed much has it? take more photos, tell more stories.
listen at letty, trying to make light of her nightie fetish. she's obsessed!!
i loved this post rambo!!
We have to let them grow up, but God knows it's not easy!
just for the sake of clarification, it was the snog that was luvverly rather than the nightie.
As for the nightie / dress, i was only 14. I think i got away with it.
it seems to have given you this iPod style neocounter and wont let me edit settings... i'm working on it.
let me know if you want it above not below your links.
have a nice day off!
xx
Dig that neo counter.. I am in no postion to give you parental advice I am shit at that lark! Just remember everythings normal and to a 13 year old we're boring!!
And on that note I am off to my hiphop class and after that skating with the dudes after school in the park, got a light??
ps.. I'm cured!!!
Well, this is soooo strange as I was reading my diary from 1985 last night and I was so worried at what I was getting up to aged 13. At one point I wrote, 'The dinner ladies have found out about the vodka'. I don't remember that. I was doing all sorts of things that I cringe at now. And I suppose I turned out ok. Lol.
I really think if you try and stop them, they want to do it even more. Oh goodness. My ma and pa tried to ground me and I ran away. Freedom within reason is the answer I think....though I'm not an expert.
Thanks for the advice Bud. Nice to see you in my comment box. xxx
It's hard not to worry that your daughter is going to end up being a hoodie wearing, vodka drinking, glue sniffing, single teenage mum when they are out doing very similar things to us when we were in our teens. Yes times have changed but it is a rite of passage that we have to just ride out. It does pass.
At 13 Jazz wore low tops, low jeans, g-string poking out of the top, loads of make-up and just scowled and sulked a lot. Us parents were told to stay in the car and not come out if her friends were around (even if these same friends stayed over at our house and had seen us about 100 times before!). She is now a lovely 17 year old (still has bratty moments of course) who is just delightful and so mature and would prefer to stay in with her boyfriend drinking tea and watching Grand Designs than going out drinking and clubbing.
Just try to stay friends with her during this time and get her to be honest with you by not freaking out when they tell you they have 'been in the pub playing pool'! You need to trust them that they will turn out ok, you have done all the groundwork up until now so I am sure everything will be ok.
Crikey get me with my long comment. I think it's just that I fel so passionately about parent-of-a-teenager-angst I just want to reassure you :-)
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