CRITICAL CAKE INCIDENT!
After last's night critical cake incident which was preceded by a critical bread incident and then a bit later a critical talking through the taped Dr Who incident, Graham has spent the night thinking about how he can't live with our sarcasm, and he's decided to leave.
He came storming out of his bedroom this morning and said 'to be honest I can't stand Andrew's sarcasm anymore'. To which I decided not to placate the man and said 'well, he's tired at the end of the day and he was annoyed about the bread, cake and the talking through Dr Who!' Graham said 'well, if he's going to be so petty, I'm going to find somewhere else to stay'. And with that he stomped off. Do you think he'll go? Should I try and calm him down? What say you all?
He came storming out of his bedroom this morning and said 'to be honest I can't stand Andrew's sarcasm anymore'. To which I decided not to placate the man and said 'well, he's tired at the end of the day and he was annoyed about the bread, cake and the talking through Dr Who!' Graham said 'well, if he's going to be so petty, I'm going to find somewhere else to stay'. And with that he stomped off. Do you think he'll go? Should I try and calm him down? What say you all?
posted by ramblingwoman at
8:01 AM
24 Comments:
I wonder why we spend so much time and energy pandering to horrid people? I suppose in this instance it's because he is your FIL.
But, why shouldn't you be able to be free to be yourselves and say how you feel about things in your own home?
Tiptoeing around the feelings of people who are in fact totally insensitive to anyone's elses feelings (but are supersensitive when it comes to their own) is exhausting and humiliating.
The answer to it? I don't know :o{
what a great succinct answer GOW.
You are right, he is supersensitive, that's exactly what he is...and yet thinks nothing of saying what he thinks of others.
Brilliant! I'm going to let him go if he wants. But I bet he won't. Primarily because the alternative will cost him money and he's as tight as the proverbial duck's arse.
I imagine he won't go.. What's the cake and bread incident? oh dear... sorry it's all going horribly wrong but it's good you speak your mind, i did this time with my pa... good luck for the day
I lived with my MIL (the problem) for 5.5 months and then HAD to leave before the relationship broke down beyond repair. At arms length we managed, in the same house it was a nightmare.
Maybe its better if he goes now; you're never going to be mates with him when he's so far off your idea of civilized behavior.
BUT he is 'family'. Don't suppose you could care less, but what would A think if the relationship broke down?
Don't make any more cake for the B though. Let him eat vegetables, preferably al dente.
Its now tea time and I have made a lemon tart in my overheated kitchen - it being 36c and humid as hell. We're from the same nest, tea-time habbit wise I guess.
Take it easy girl,
You poor thing! How about getting and staying moderately drunk for the next two weeks and simply laughing hysterically every time he opens his mouth?
No, no, no - def no drinking. Life Coach speaking.
I don't know what you should do. As you know I have outlaw probs too and to be honest I would rather they would see us even if they were horrid to us all the time, which prob sounds strange but it's not good having no communication at all.
I should try and preserve something - if he leaves fine, but make it a good leaving not a stomping off.
Good luck anyway.
Anyone who talks through old Dr. Who re-runs is OK in my book. Let him down easy...
oh no, can't agree with gc here, talking thro' Dr. Who is the last and heaviest straw!
I think Trac has a point Lu, if he goes with bad feeling then you are likely to feel guilty (not that you SHOULD, obviously,) but a good leaving would be better than bad feeling, if thats possible. But I'd have thought you do need to be honest and say what you think and how it makes you all feel.
Can't you get A. to take some responsibility for dealing with this? it is his father!
thinking of you.....
Well, Trac - thanks for all that. You are speaking sense (for once! haha - just a joke - I've been offending so many people recently, I'm paranoid now!)
Well, when I returned from my allotment (another row of potatoes, salad onions, black poppies (for cutting)) (fyi Meg and Lettuce), Graham had not packed a bag and seemed to be back to 'normal'. He asked if he could have a lift to town. He spoke normally in the car....he even offered to buy pasties for supper tonight (him being a meat and pastry addict). He HATES the food I give him! Last night I cooked leek and basil frittata, it was DELICIOUS (if I say so myself). He just put ketchup all over it and mopped it up with white bread (the notorious bread incident - he ate all the bread which he helped himself to from the bread bin without offering others).
So, I've spoken on the phone to Andy, who says he will behave as if all is normal. Lets just carry on. He may have taken some of my words to heart...I did ask him to imagine how HE would have reacted if we'd done the same in his house.
Was it Oscar Wilde who said 'guests are like fish, after three days they stink'
(I'm not referring to Bangla Jess here though - she's welcome to stay as long as she likes providing she keeps away from the cake!)
Good for you, RW. That supper sounds wonderful. You'll have to send me the recipe.
I agree re the drink, it's not hard at all is it? I haven't felt any different though really. I still have a headache in the morning and I am still tired but I'm sure it's good for my liver if nothing else.
Cutting out cigarettes is harder but I am succeeding.
Hope your evening is better today. Trac did speak a lot of sense, didn't she. Prob the voice of Elvis or something, or Rolf Harris, or Demis Roussos? Actually I bet it was Celine Dion.
Oh my god woman, drink drink drink is my sound advice!
Hahahahahaha!
Of course it was me! You don't think that Trac would speak any sense do you??
Trac just agrees with Tat's sound advice! In fact she's off for a large G&T now....
I think you did the right thing to stay calm and talk in the car. We all put up with so much and then we feel guilty if people storm off.
I hope it all works out for you.
I wonder what he'll get up to next. Perhaps he'll do something even more outrageous...
Chuck the bugger out!
I was going to suggest you treat him like you would a toddler having a tantrum. Ignore his unreasonable behaviour and only be pleasant to him when he snaps out of it. I guess putting him on the naughty step or taking 'time out' might not go down too well though! Good luck honey, I feel for you I really do. x
Yeah, sunny Lowestoft I believe.
Isn't he supposed to be a member of the BNP though. He might get on well with FIL??
Didnt see him on Jonathan Ross though.
Did FIL behave at dinner tonight? Perhaps Trac will invite him to the one she is organising.
oh yes, the naughty step sounds like a fine idea.
Hi Lu,
as you once were a TEFL teacher, I send you this reply to my recent enquiry re portrait photography for Ellies 18th B. Maybe it'll make u smile in the midst of other troubles?
"Hi here in Dhaka,
Thanks for invite me a Birthday party assignment! I will be able to take photos in 17 th May 2006 at 5 pm. I exposed as per roll usually @BDT.3, 000 (Three thousand only) including, one set 4 R size bromide photo print out put. Average, 25-30 copies good quality photo will be able to put you.
You have to pay advance 50% and other 50% will be pay able after delivery photos. You can ensure as per roll@BDT.2, 500 (two thousand five hundred only) Thanking you again. I look forward hear you soon."
Weird, (especially the exposing part!)but understandable. BJ
oh, yes, thanks BJ, very funny!
Your initials sound rather naughty BJ! Your girls would laugh at that!
I played tennis with a rather gorgeous young south african man last night who was a brilliant player. I said to him after every fab shot that won us every game....'that's what I like a good finisher!' to which he said (jokingly, he wasn't offended) 'steady on, we've only just met!' (Did I use a pornographic term? or what?)
in regards to the "finisher" comment...I watched an episode of "Curb your Ethusiam" where Larry was receiving a massage, near the end the masseuse asked if he would like her to finish him off, meaning a hand job...could that be the reference?
Thanks Pam! Ooops! Well HE knew the reference clearly! (red face)
Has he gone yet?
I didn't know that the finisher thing was rude either. I do now.
Amazing what you learn in blogland.
How's FIL behaving this evening? On the naughty step yet?
Hahaha re the long con. YOu have to wait and see.
The RDA is the Review and Development Adviser. The key aims of the RDA role are to:-
*help us implement and manage school self review;
*monitor and evaluate school performance and ensure that strategies are in place to raise the standards achieved by our pupils;
*support us in developing the capacity to manage change effectively;
*act as a critical friend to me;
*disseminate good practice and celebrate achievement throughout the LA and more widely.
You can see why the poor guy is so dull now. But pretty!
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