Sunday, November 19, 2006

Hello,

I've had a difficult and testing time of it recently, I think that's why I haven't really been blogging. I've been doing quite a lot of soul searching and that makes me introverted and quiet! (which for those that know me is unusual!). I've just hunkered down and haven't been good at keeping in touch with anyone.

Not only did our house fall through last week, and the one we wanted come back on the market, we were also informed by our landlord that we have to be out by January as he's sold the house. So, we went to see the house we originally wanted last Saturday. It's a lot of money and they have told us they wouldn't take less than a certain amount, which we thought was too much - especially as the market has been falling. On top of that there was water dripping through the roof!!!! An ongoing problem they said that they were having fixed! We made a slightly lower offer on the monday which was rejected. (I don't understand it - we have nothing to sell, that's worth a discount at least - people are so money grabbing!). So, we've left it. We don't want to overstretch ourselves. So, when my friend Nicola phoned to say there was a house opposite hers that's been on the market for a while and why don't I ask if they'd rent it instead (it's empty, the old man had died and his son had put it on the market). Nicola saw the son and his wife emptying the house last week and asked them if they'd be willing to rent it out. They said yes as the house wasn't selling and they would like it lived in for the winter. So, there you go - we have a house for the winter. Here's a picture of it!



It's not beautiful, but it's big and won't cost the earth to heat! (unlike our current one)











The other stuff (and the stuff that's been worrying me) is about my oldest daughter and her life - but more really about the way I deal with things and my parenting skills. I've been given some good advice from friends with older kids, who tell me that the main thing in parent/child relationships is trust. Being ultra strict won't work - they just look for ways to get round your rules and then dishonesty might happen. So actually it's been good that I've been thinking about my parenting skills rather than just drifting along.

I have a friend who is looking for a house and she wanted the 'big and lovely' house and was upset that we got it first! When it came back on the market last week she emailed me to ask why it had fallen through. I told her the reasons (rotten roof, fungus and damp all over). She emailed me back the next day to say that the dirty stinking estate agent has been telling people that we couldn't get the mortgage!!!! WTF! She questioned him closely about the survey and if there were any problems to which he said none that he was aware of and that he hadn't seen the survey! WTF again! I would like to put this estate agent out of business. It's unlikely as they are the biggest estate agent in Essex and Suffolk! But still, I might cause some redundancies in the sales office of Ipswich! I think I have managed to spread the word about how bad they are around the place - news travels fast in a small town like Ipswich. The thing is, how did the agent think that I wouldn't know any one? He is SO STUPID, DISHONEST AND EVIL! (in my opinion, alledgedly!)

I just feel so dull at the moment. I have lost the urge to write blogs. I think I might disappear completely. Except for the fact that I know it's a good way to keep in touch with friends - bit like a round robin letter I suppose! So I will continue with my dullsville blog until I have the head room for more creative writing.

14 Comments:

Blogger y.Wendy.y said...

I felt really sad reading that. You DO seem downhearted.

I think your new rental looks lovely actually and it's good to have a place to be in for Christmas and to give you breathing space to look for your dream.

You're not a lousy Mom, btw, I take that award.

I am inconsistent, too soft, lazy, undisciplined myself (so how can I expect the kids to be?), laid back about boundaries and rules and regulations....they walk all over me...but I think we muddle through because we love each other so much and we make it very plain and clear that we do...H will turn out fine..blimey she's about to be a terrible teen - expect shite for a few years...and then it will pass and she'll be a fab young woman.


Take care - as MW said - look after yourself first and foremost and then you'll be able to be tackle just about anything.

xxx

6:47 PM  
Blogger y.Wendy.y said...

ps - why don't you write to the local paper and expose that agency..they are dreadful.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Yes, uncharacteristic of you RW. I hope you are alright chuck. I shall just say a few things to cheer you:

1. You are one of the nicest people I have *ever* met in my whole life. Every day I go into the office, looking for that familiar smell of houmus and hoping that you will come in. I look for you every day. And if your chair has moved..I think...ah, she's just nipped out for a bit and will return.

2. You are the most sensible, level-headed person ever. You will always do the right thing, whatever is thrown at you. You cannot say that you are not doing well with parenting. God, your kids are lovely. And, it's flippin' hard. So hard that I just don't know how we do it sometimes. You would always put others first. Give yourself a bit of time to think and all will be well. You are very intuitive and you will work through it. Never doubt yourself RW.

3. Everybody here adores you. You are one of the really special bloggers around these parts. I always feel safe here. Safe and happy.

Call me if you need anything at all. God, I would have been tearing my hair out over the house situation and you've been so calm throughout. You deserve a break. It's ok to sound off sometimes.

7:08 PM  
Blogger lettuce said...

don't disappear Luce, we would all miss you so much.

you share your life with us, and its not dull - its life!!! and your life and we want to know. And actually, its all creative.
And you've been amazing through all the house shit (yes! shop the agent!!) and everything.

You are a great mother. I think anyone with kids has self-doubt about that, and ESPECIALLY with TEENAGE GIRLS. Holly is lovely, she will be fine. You're right, the main thing is trust, and love, and spending time (when they want/need to). (thank god they dn't want/need it ALL the time)

I think moonwalker is right, focus on settling well into the new house for Christmas, look forward to that, holly and mulled wine and all. Let 2007 take care of itself when it arrives.

I love you Luce.
xxx

8:22 PM  
Blogger ramblingwoman said...

Well I just popped in to check comments and now you've all made me cry with your concern. I didn't know I would come across as so miserable to you all..... amazing what can be read between the lines. I think you are all right, I am a bit miserable.

I'm just coming to terms with stuff!

9:22 PM  
Blogger Tanya said...

I think I have to fight over the lousy mum award with Wendz, hahaha...You're not a lousy Mom, btw, I take that award, no btw I take that award !! moi, who sends youngest daughter out in flip flops in november knowing that the whole of perpignan are laughing at me! yep pass the award here....

I remember when we moved into our rental after we sold london home before we could come here, Guy wasn't ready and I needed to have a baby.. It was yucky but I decided to go overboard with tacky christmas decorations and have a really great christmas, and we did, and we had the best christmas and then my little sweetheart was born in that front room and it's all good memories now... so hang in there girlfriend, you're house is just biding it's time for you...

As for kids, H has always been super... they have spells, days, hormones now but she'll always be a good kid, don't worry, be happy..

stroks stroke..

11:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a crap mum and I'm miserable too!

I'm not expecting that to cheer you up or anything. It's just a fact.

Take care RW!
x

12:58 AM  
Blogger The fabric of my life said...

Oh Lucy, poor you. It's so hard this house hunting malarkey, especially when you have evil estate agents to deal with. What a bastard he sounds! Your rental looks great, you will be near your friend, cosy and warm too.

Teenage girls are hard work, believe me, but your friend who advises you to trust and not be too strict is very wise. If you do come down too hard on them you just drive their behaviour underground and they resent you to boot. I have to stop myself from freaking out sometimes and just remember that as long as Jazz and I stay friends it will all work out ok and so far so good. She made me sit down with her last night to tell me about her problems and things she is worried about in a candid way. I feel honoured that she still feels that she can tell me anything, and she can, and that I won't judge her. I'm also lucky that I have a very lovely mum who I can often bounce ideas off and who gets me to see things from Jasmine's perspective sometimes whilst being ever-supportive to me. You're doing great Lucy, it's a hard time that will pass.

And don't you ever go :-(

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, you have made me venture out of my blogagoraphobic state with that.

But I am too late everybody has already said it all.

Things will come right. H sounds great, and we all go through phases of doubting our parenting skills (or actually it is probably more the case that the phases are when we have faith in those skills)- as they grow up we have to find new ways to deal with things.

The house looks ideal - modern houses are always less dusty. Self-cleaning in fact.

Take care, RW and try to be happy (she says, with tears running down her cheeks!!)

3:11 PM  
Blogger Pod said...

listen at you all!! none of you are crap mothers! enough!

everything is as it should be at the moment love, trust that. settle in your new place and dont be hard on yourself ok x

9:34 PM  
Blogger Trac said...

Well... I popped in to say that although I'm still a crap Mum, I was feeling happier. Then I re read your blog and comments, and your weather pixie!?

Hope you're feeling happier!
x

9:22 AM  
Blogger pam in toronto said...

well, I to am getting caught up on your blogs...I do hope you feel a little better...you are an amazing woman and I feel fortunate to know you. They say moving is one of the most stressful things you can do and you're doing twice in one year! I think you handle it all with grace. I think you're an awesome parent...in the few times I've been able to spend time with your family....I have always been impressed with your parenting skills...

11:06 PM  
Blogger lettuce said...

just checking in.....


:o)

7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never doubt the gods ALWAYS get what they want when it comes to significant events. This situation could have ocurred another way but that would have involved magic's use in the discovery process. Magic is a priveledge, and although this situation certainly commands peaked euphoria as people learned of the wonders within the god's power it wasn't going to be allowed because of the audience's disfavor.

8:31 AM  

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