Another Test Card!
1.Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
8. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
9. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
10. Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
11. Is there ever a day that Persian rugs are not on sale?
12. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
13. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
14. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
15. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
16. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"Well,it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
17. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
18. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer whenwe complained about the heat?
19. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
8. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
9. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
10. Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
11. Is there ever a day that Persian rugs are not on sale?
12. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
13. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
14. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
15. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
16. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"Well,it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
17. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
18. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer whenwe complained about the heat?
19. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
posted by ramblingwoman at
4:19 PM
5 Comments:
Very funny.
I'm sure we could all come up with some father-in-law jokes now, thanks to you, ha ha.
You snuck yesterday's post in rather late Mrs S.! Hope the tennis is going well.
You are a one RW! I think you should get your own spot on Question Time - geddit?
Please tell Le Chat how good KrispyKremes are...
I hope you are well and good. Surviving my first full week back. Today I had double 11, then double 10 then 9. It was very hard but great fun...
There was an expectant father who had spent quite some time waiting for the offspring to arrive - at his in-laws' place.
As his leave balance had gone into the red, he tells his father-in-law, "When my son comes, do not call up my office and say that I have become a father of a boy because I'll have to shell out a lot for parties. Just leave me a message that the clock has arrived. This will be our code for the arrival of the baby."
The offspring does finally arrive one day, but it's a daughter. The father-in-law now thinks to himself, "If I tell him that the clock has not arrived, he'll misunderstand and think that something has happened to the baby and come rushing over."
So the father-in-law left the following message: "The clock has arrived, but the pendulum is missing."
That sounds a bit like your FIL - having to shell out for parties...no way!
Well Betty, for our wedding present he bought (for his only child) a plastic clock (from the Spanish supermarket)!! Last of the big spenders!
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