Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Hello,

I was going to post about the classic car rally we watched and how Ziggy had settled and show you a picture of him quietly sleeping in his bed but I might have to do this another day because this morning I just have to unburden myself about my father in law.

Regular readers will know about my father in law and will remember last year's 'critical bread incident'. Not sure if that links you directly to the day but certainly to the month (just scroll down to the post!)

Having told oldest daughter that she had to be in on Monday 'because Grandad is staying and it would be nice to do something together as a family', Grandad announces that he doesn't want to do the day out that I had tried to plan - first I suggested Gainsborough's house in Sudbury, then the seaside, then a walk in the country (to which he said 'I live in the country' - yes, Graham but you live inthe country in SPAIN, which is quite different to ENGLAND!). So as we were getting ready to go out somewhere for the day and have a nice lunch 'all together' he announces he didn't feel like it and he would take himself down to town, wander about and then have a pint in a pub somewhere. Well! As he left the house he said 'Don't worry, I won't be long, about two hours'. Six hours later he pitches up! Drunk as a skunk, having been in the local pub all that time. I think the guy is an alcoholic. I didn't witness the home coming because I was in the cinema with the girls (Spider Man 3 actually, too long, not really my kind of film, thanks for asking). So, according to Andy, he pitched up, slurring, helped himself to loads of bread and cheese, leaving crumbs and cupboards open as he went, ate them, sat on the sofa with a blanket over himself and promptly fell asleep.

The film went on for ever and we didn't get in until half past eight, by which time I had decided not to bother cooking any supper - the girls had gorged on pop corn (and I'd had just a handful or two too!). So, I got in, the girls disappeared to their various spots inthe house and I sat with Andy at the kitchen table with a bottle of vino tinto between us. Andy said 'when my dad reappears he'll say he didn't have any lunch in the pub because he thought you were cooking tonight - that's how he'll turn it around and justify his tightness'. Ten minutes or so later, Graham enters and sits down with us. 'Aren't you cooking tonight?' he asks. 'No, it's a bit late don't you think?' I said. 'Oh, I didn't eat in the pub because I thought we were having a meal at home' he said. 'Oh, Andy said you'd had a couple of sandwiches when you got in are you still hungry?' said I. 'Yes' said he. He was still drunk. I asked him how his day had been 'Oh marvellous, I met lots of people, blah blah blah'

What I just can't understand is that we see this man once a year, he comes over every May for four weeks (luckily just three this year). He never has any contact with his only grandchildren (ours) or gives them presents or anything. And now, on the one day his only son has off he doesn't want to spend it with us. I'm feeling like a bit of a hotel actually. He's manipulative to the extreme. Yesterday, (this is a small point but they all build up) the butter ran out in the morning - the shopping is ordered for tonight so I don't like to go out and buy stuff I'd rather just make do without butter for 24 hours - I buttered his toast at breakfast and then said 'That's the last of the butter until the shopping comes tomorrow afternoon'. Last night when he was making himself yet another sandwich, he said 'where's the butter?' I said 'It's all gone' He said 'Oh why didn't you say I would have got some FOR YOU when I was out'. 'I DID say, Graham' I said. He does this ALL the time. He drinks the beer in the fridge (all 20 bottles) saying each time 'I'll get some more when I go to town'. When he comes back he says 'I forgot to take my rucksack so couldn't get any' or some other lame excuse which he has done deliberately.

I know this all sounds so petty, but these things build up. The worst thing about him though is that he does NOT take a blind bit of interest in us. He has not asked Andy about work, about his cycling, about our last holiday, about our NEW house or expressed any interest even in where our house is! Nor has he asked the children about their lives. He just sits at the table wittering on about what he's done. The sad thing is, is that he is telling us the same stuff as last year as if these things have happened in the last year, when I know that they didn't. So in reality the poor guy has got nothing to tell us, nothing has happened to him in the last year. He gets up, he goes to the bar, he comes home, he falls asleep in front of the telly. That's his life.


I feel sorry for him alot but my patience is wearing thin.

16 Comments:

Blogger Tanya said...

And the dog?? that's right Luce get it off your chest! what a miserable ******! I have my dad here at the moment and I can't stop him paying for everything.. really he pays form everything, shopping, meals and bit and bobs.... what a difference huh... we're out today, going to a river for a picnic, all of us... How much longer is your sentence??

7:08 AM  
Blogger y.Wendy.y said...

Oh you've been so patient! I know we cannot explode with in-laws, but he really deserves to have the riot act read. Gah! What a selfish man.

Hang in there - he'll soon be gone.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Akelamalu said...

Oh how awful for you, what a selfish man he is!

9:34 AM  
Blogger Pod said...

wipe your botty on the sliced bread and make him a yummy sandwich. clean the bogatry with his toothbrush.

is it richard stilgoe?

11:56 AM  
Blogger ramblingwoman said...

No Pod, it's not Richard Stilgoe, it's Sadam Hussein! Honest - he looks just like him! I'll post a picture.

1:40 PM  
Blogger The fabric of my life said...

Ugh you poor poor thing Luce. He sounds like a nightmare and you don't sound petty at all.

7:11 PM  
Blogger pam in toronto said...

it's good to get things off your chest...isn't that what a blog is for? ultimately it's just so sad...and hurray, he'll be gone by the end of May!

8:24 PM  
Blogger Tanya said...

How's the dog and the old goat today??

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there, your FIL sounds awful! Worse than last time!
My friends took on an intelligent dog that had been beaten . It mouthed and barked too. They kept it outside until it behaved properly. I reckon Andy should take it to be trained - and maybe Hols - they could all bond together. (then you could get yourself a little puppy (second child))! Hope the fish like neice dindn't abuse your wine cellar too much,
deep breaths,
BJ

1:18 PM  
Blogger Pod said...

gosh you should run a celebrity lookie-likie business....you could use clammy as maggie philbin

oh dear....i shall be in trouble now

11:10 PM  
Blogger lettuce said...

hello.... i'm back

1:01 AM  
Blogger lettuce said...

oh! reading this again I suddenly remembered that I dreamed about puppies last night. :o)

8:23 AM  
Blogger lettuce said...

ps fingers (and everything) crossed for you.

10:14 PM  
Blogger lettuce said...

oh for goodness sake RW.



even at the risk of being 4x in a row....




this is so BORING!

10:09 PM  
Blogger The fabric of my life said...

Are you coming back soooooon?

11:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really very bad,what a selfish one,very poor.http://classicvehicleauction.com/

10:07 AM  

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